My Nana passed away yesterday. I'm sad because I will miss her terribly, but happy that she's finally at peace. She's been in a nursing home since March, but very ill for about the past year, winding up in the hospital about every 3 months. We thought we were going to lose her then, but my mom and uncle convinced her (not what she wanted) to put in a feeding tube. She had a living will and did NOT want a feeding tube. Needless to say I was unhappy about this. I didn't argue, but knew it was wrong. Nana was unhappy the entire time. She was stuck in a nursing home wearing diapers for crying out loud! They actually told us a week ago that she most likely would be coming home within 2 or 3 weeks. I was really upset about that becuase both of my parents are handicapped and are unable to care for her very well (She lived with them).

I went to Vegas in March to visit with her, knowing it would probably be the last time I ever saw her. On my last day there, I went to visit and told her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. I was very close to her while growing up as she only lived about 1/2 a mile away from us. I think I was at her house nearly everyday. There's a picture in her bedroom that I asked my mom to send me, it's of me and Nana when I was about 4-5 years old. We were out jogging. It's just a cute picture and it looks like we were having so much fun. If my mom remembers to send it, I'll post it.

I'm most worried about my mom. She's been taking care of Nana for so long, I don't think she'll know what to do with herself. I'm afraid she's going to retreat from the world and hide in her bedroom for awhile. I think the best thing to do is to get her out here to see the kids. They always make her feel better. She hasn't seen them in almost 2 years. She's been afraid to leave Nana. I know she won't be ready for awhile, but I can't help but hope that she'll come out.

My only regret is that Nana never got to see my son. I wish I could have taken him with me when I went in March. I suppose she'll see him now. I'm sure I'll feel her presence around my house one of these days. I did when both my uncle and Grandfather passed.